Retro Males! Finally, a gay website that managed to blow me away, not because of all the cocks, but because it made me think about history, art, and sex, and not so many adult websites have that potential. I've heard stories about gayism dating back to Roman times, where soldiers were encouraged to fuck their fellow soldiers to boost the sense of comradeship and make them better warriors. All that is dandy, but I would've rather take a nuke up my arsehole than feel a pair of saggy balls slap against my cheeks! I don't relate, but I understand the urge, and today I am bringing a real treat for all gay men. Meet retromales.com, the site that is so much more than your regular shagging joint. Keep reading!
Take a step back in time
Retromales.com looks so freakin' cool that I feel bad talking bullshit and cracking rude gay jokes. There's the first time for anything! Maybe it's because of the compassion I feel about those 70's gays and their blissful ignorance about a little something called AIDS, or because of the hard-working homos who blow cocks just to relieve the tension from all the railroad construction work. Maybe because I know that all of these gays are nothing but old farts nowadays who can't even find their own porno on the web. Whatever the case might be, I feel the need to take things seriously and really write a professional, in-depth, respectful review, and pay my homage to all homos who invented ass-banging in front of the camera.
Not much to discuss when it comes to retromales.com's design. All-white background and thumbnails that don't show any preview. At least not on the tour page. It's obvious right away that retromales.com is a part of a big-ass, gay network and that one membership plan comes with loads of bonus content. But before I get to the juicy part, let me note that retromales.com counts 650+ videos and that there are some limitations when it comes to downloading. The good news is that retromales.com really went above and beyond to put as much info as possible and even created a FAQ section. Well done, homos!
I want to break free
I'm falling in love...falling in love for the first time...retromales.com has that Mercury vibe. Moustache homos are all over the place, giving heads like the cold war is not raging. Balls are hairy too, you know, real Alpha dudes who wear leather jackets. Something like the reverse Grease, where John rams a dude in the back of his Dodge. Some of the scenes resemble the rock band's backstage shenanigans, while other movies look like the X-rated version of Ben-Hur. A wild party, retro-style!
When it comes to the running time, I'm not that impressed. The longest video on the first page is around 20 minutes long, while the rest is around ten minutes, sometimes even less. Maybe it has to do something with all the remastering process, which tends to be complicated, so some parts had to be cut out. If the lack of diversity worries you, let me just say that some of the movies I saw on retromales.com are fucking odd, featuring old farts birching young twinks. Plenty of threesomes and group-somes as well. The only serious fuck up is the total absence of pussy, not because you homos care for that, but because I'm feeling a serious case of energy-draining coming down my spine. Well, the show must go on.
Pay attention to the details
One would think that a website like retromales.com would care about the artistic banging only and just let people have their way with the content that should have been archived a long time ago, but no. The site chose to complicate things. I don't give a fuck. The more detailed it gets, the more I get to write, but why would any porn website limit the downloading option to the longer membership plans only? You can download videos only after the first 30 days of your membership pass. Until you go with the 90-day or the yearly plan, the downloading option will stay unlocked. When it comes to the website Tobyross, it is locked for downloading no matter what you do. Tobyross - streaming only.
Each video comes with a set of photos, and those can be downloaded as zip files or individually. You can upload up to five files simultaneously, up to 40Gb every 24 hours. This rule applies to all membership plans. Retromales.com shows the file size before you begin downloading, so you can track things more easily. The site is optimized for all devices, and the membership prices are as follows - $9.98 for the first month (streaming only), $59.84 for three months (streaming + downloading), and $149.95 for a whole year (streaming and downloading).
You are sure to get your money's worth
Retromales.com is a part of a big-ass, gay network named GayPornMegaSites. For the price of one membership plan, you get to unlock the whole network that counts over 2.1K videos, around 1.5K picture sets, and 850+ models. When something like this happens, you can sit back, light up a smoke, and chill. A cluster of websites always brings regular updates and diversity, which is a big deal for dudes who pay for their porn. Let me just bring up a couple of website names to give you a glimpse of what you can expect content-wise - Swingin'Balls, RawHole, Boys from Prague, and Straight Men xxx.
When it comes to retromales.com, it really boasts content that can't be found anywhere on the web. All of the retro porn movies have been remastered. HD videos are all over the place, and the quality of picture sets is equally impressive. The thing that's fucking annoying is the absence of available trailers, and it's especially important when such unique content is in question. These are not your ordinary gay sessions where dudes just go around, grab the first dick they can find, and spread their butt cheeks. Retro movies tend to have a background story, something that might attract more VIP members, but retromales.com just failed to recognize that.
Rugged dudes to bring you a dose of reality porn
The appeal of retro porn, both gay and straight, lies in the natural bodies, average size dicks, and women that look normal and attainable. While watching retromales.com, you almost feel like a virgin teen again who accidentally stumbled upon dad's porn collection. You don't know if it is more disturbing that dada watches porn or that there's not a single lady to be seen on the vids. Ok, ok, this shit is odd! Let's say you are a teen dude watching a neighbor couple shagging in the backyard. It just feels raw.
I like the openness that retromales.com brings. Everything is explained right there on the homepage. I hate the absence of trailers, but shit happens. I think that you gays would appreciate the big models' list that brings up some shaggy, rugged dudes as well as submissive twinks who somehow always end up being a bun. A hotdog or a bun, you're gonna like the retro ramming. If not, the bonus content is there to keep you entertained for months to come. A win-win situation, that's what it is.
I got chills, they're multiplying
I kept waiting for the dudes to start dancing and put some pink wigs on their hairy heads, but the guys just kept sucking each other off. That's what you pervy came here for anyway! Without much ado, let me recommend retromales.com. It's one of a few gay pages that managed to get my attention. One really has to admire the webmaster's willingness to wander the web and dig up some retro shit, remaster them, put them together, and finally offer them to a bunch of horny freaks. I guess you could say that this is fetish porn, and that sort of content is definitely worth some dough.
If you are a gay person in need of exclusive HD porn that is unique, retromales.com is your to-go place. Loads of bonus content, daily updates, a plethora of gay videos, and some adult galleries. Retromales.com came this CLOSE to being perfect. Goddamned trailers! Retromales.com, don't think that I haven't noticed that blonde Sharon chick in your models' list! You did see me coming, after all! Yeah, it made this reviewing journey much more tolerable!